Praise the Lord, O my soul

So, I am one of the most horrible bloggers of all time! I'm working on getting better...I really am...I have been feeling like my life is completely crazy. I am going, going, going...balancing this and that and juggling the other thing too; between work and church and family and relationships and everything else it leaves not a lot of time.

So tonight I was reading Psalm 103 and few things that both beat me in the face and encouraged me. So I figured I'd share them with you...

"Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits - who forgives all your sins, and heals all your diseases, and redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things..."
- Psalm 103:1-5a

This just reminded me that the Lord not only sees me, but sees me and loves me anyway. He sees my bad attitude, my frustration, my selfishness, my sometimes bitter heart; and forgives, heals, redeems, and satisfies my soul.

He created me and formed me and knows me. "He knows how we are formed and remembers we are dust (vs.14)." God knows our innermost parts, thoughts, desires, issues, and sin. He sees it all and is so loving and compassionate and full of grace to completely forget it ever happened. That brings me so much joy and peace. Peace knowing that I am found in my Daddy's arms and safe in Him and joy knowing that His grace and mercy is new for me everyday.

PRAISE THE LORD, O MY SOUL, PRAISE THE LORD!!!!


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Meh...my mouth

I really used to struggle with my mouth and with the things that fly out and with the words that I say and things that I do. And lately that part of my flesh has been rearing it's ugly and really awful head and I hate it.

I said things today in a conversation with someone I really love out of frustration and annoyance and stress and well, just plain sin.

I say things and immediately regret them and I speak with a tone that is so easily taken for frustration. I have allowed my heart and my mind to be burdened with stresses of life and out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks...thus causing a hardcore appointment with humility and Jesus...

The Word says the tongue can build up or tear down, it can encourage or discourage and today I did all the worst of those. So as I spend time in the Word and with the Lord, this is what I've got.

I'm sorry Lord. Forgive me. Replace stress, sadness, frustration, hurt, etc. With your overflowing grace, peace and joy. I love You and help me to tireless love Your children and the people You've given in my life. That I would honor, love, and respect them and be more of the women You 'be intended me to be.


So that's all from me tonight...a little bit of honesty.

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It's been a while...

Well gosh...I was reminded today from multiple sources that it had been a EXTREMELY long time since I'd posted.

Tonight I was Amazingly humbled by the goodness and grace of the Lord. I am worship leader and I wholeheartedly believe that He has has appointed and called me to grow in that aspect of my ministry, as well as, using the talents the Lord has blessed me with.

The great thing is that the Lord totally doesn't need me, which is was reminded of tonight as I epically failed during tonights set. :)

I'm thankful that the Lord doesn't require perfection or anything really even close. He just requires a willing and pliable heart.

I have failed and sinned and am so unworthy of the things that the Lord has asked of me yet He is so patient and kind. I am dirty and wretched but I so want to do what is right. Even though I daily fail and sin in major ways I so want to be used by the Lord.

I'm reading in Samuel right now and I just really want to be like Samuel who responds with "here I am." I'm sorry that I failed You yet again but here I am. Use me and help me to be more like You.

So that's just what I had on my mind. I assure you It won't be another year and some change til my next post.


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Withhold

Why do I try to withhold things from the Lord? Everything I am and everything I have is the Lord's. It all belongs to Him so I do try to control it?

Abraham was willing to give up his only son and the fulfillment of God's covenant with him because God told him too. He did just as God had said from being to end...right up to the point where he was mid sacrifice.

It's because Abraham withheld nothing from God that He knew that he feared Him. I want God to know that I fear Him. I don't want to withhold from the Lord. I want what He wants and I want to give Him everyhing I have...even the things that would be difficult to sacrifice.

Patient

I love how patient the Lord is...when we laugh and don't believe and think that what we desire is outside of the scope of possibilty, He very simply asks, "is there anything too hard for the Lord?"

When I feel like there isn't anyway that what I desire is possible because I have done too much wrong or I have messed up or there is just too much opposition...the Lord very simply responses to my freak out with, "is that really too hard for Me? I have done so many other amazing things...is that really too hard? Just be patient and wait for Me..."

God is just gracious and good and patient and compassionate and tender...He just all around amazes me!!!

Overflow

The thing that stuck to me was this...out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. My desire is that because of God's grace and mercy that He would be evident through the my life and through my mouth. My Lord has done so much for me and I want that to be so clear and evident to everyone who talks to me.

I am not as careful with my tongue as should belt want to be and I really don't like that. I want my mouth to speak ONLY out of the overflow of my heart...then people will see more of Jesus and way less of me which is EXACTLY what I want.

I don't want to be another person that makes people feel bad about this or that or whatever. It's not my job to judge...I'm in the same boat as all humanity...In need of a Savior. I want the humility of being dependant upon the Lord to be visible in my life.

My prayer is that the Lord would continue to grow that in me and that He would make me more humble and that He would give me strength to control myself and my tongue.

Famished

So today is day 5 of my reading throuh the bible in a year regiment. I realized today and over he last couple of days how much I have been missing the Word.

I have definitely not been as diligent as I could or should be in reading the word. Today when I was reading in Genesis through a bunch of names that at time resemble mismatched letters all jumbled together with no spaces and called a word/name...that even through the frustration of reading all those names I feel a little less famished; just for reading.

I felt like I was starving but couldn't figure out what I was hungry for...now I know. I was famished for the word. I feel like I am being satisfied now, and it's only been 5 days...

And everyday I read and blog and journal and allow the Lord to speak to me, I get more excited for the next day and the day after that!