It's True...

Praise the Lord, O my soul

2011-06-07T00:35:00.001-07:00

So, I am one of the most horrible bloggers of all time! I'm working on getting better...I really am...I have been feeling like my life is completely crazy. I am going, going, going...balancing this and that and juggling the other thing too; between work and church and family and relationships and everything else it leaves not a lot of time.

So tonight I was reading Psalm 103 and few things that both beat me in the face and encouraged me. So I figured I'd share them with you...

"Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits - who forgives all your sins, and heals all your diseases, and redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things..."
- Psalm 103:1-5a

This just reminded me that the Lord not only sees me, but sees me and loves me anyway. He sees my bad attitude, my frustration, my selfishness, my sometimes bitter heart; and forgives, heals, redeems, and satisfies my soul.

He created me and formed me and knows me. "He knows how we are formed and remembers we are dust (vs.14)." God knows our innermost parts, thoughts, desires, issues, and sin. He sees it all and is so loving and compassionate and full of grace to completely forget it ever happened. That brings me so much joy and peace. Peace knowing that I am found in my Daddy's arms and safe in Him and joy knowing that His grace and mercy is new for me everyday.

PRAISE THE LORD, O MY SOUL, PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Meh...my mouth

2011-04-30T01:06:00.001-07:00

I really used to struggle with my mouth and with the things that fly out and with the words that I say and things that I do. And lately that part of my flesh has been rearing it's ugly and really awful head and I hate it.

I said things today in a conversation with someone I really love out of frustration and annoyance and stress and well, just plain sin.

I say things and immediately regret them and I speak with a tone that is so easily taken for frustration. I have allowed my heart and my mind to be burdened with stresses of life and out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks...thus causing a hardcore appointment with humility and Jesus...

The Word says the tongue can build up or tear down, it can encourage or discourage and today I did all the worst of those. So as I spend time in the Word and with the Lord, this is what I've got.

I'm sorry Lord. Forgive me. Replace stress, sadness, frustration, hurt, etc. With your overflowing grace, peace and joy. I love You and help me to tireless love Your children and the people You've given in my life. That I would honor, love, and respect them and be more of the women You 'be intended me to be.

So that's all from me tonight...a little bit of honesty.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

It's been a while...

2011-04-12T23:44:00.001-07:00

Well gosh...I was reminded today from multiple sources that it had been a EXTREMELY long time since I'd posted.

Tonight I was Amazingly humbled by the goodness and grace of the Lord. I am worship leader and I wholeheartedly believe that He has has appointed and called me to grow in that aspect of my ministry, as well as, using the talents the Lord has blessed me with.

The great thing is that the Lord totally doesn't need me, which is was reminded of tonight as I epically failed during tonights set. :)

I'm thankful that the Lord doesn't require perfection or anything really even close. He just requires a willing and pliable heart.

I have failed and sinned and am so unworthy of the things that the Lord has asked of me yet He is so patient and kind. I am dirty and wretched but I so want to do what is right. Even though I daily fail and sin in major ways I so want to be used by the Lord.

I'm reading in Samuel right now and I just really want to be like Samuel who responds with "here I am." I'm sorry that I failed You yet again but here I am. Use me and help me to be more like You.

So that's just what I had on my mind. I assure you It won't be another year and some change til my next post.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Withhold

2010-01-10T00:55:00.001-08:00

Why do I try to withhold things from the Lord? Everything I am and everything I have is the Lord's. It all belongs to Him so I do try to control it?

Abraham was willing to give up his only son and the fulfillment of God's covenant with him because God told him too. He did just as God had said from being to end...right up to the point where he was mid sacrifice.

It's because Abraham withheld nothing from God that He knew that he feared Him. I want God to know that I fear Him. I don't want to withhold from the Lord. I want what He wants and I want to give Him everyhing I have...even the things that would be difficult to sacrifice.

Patient

2010-01-08T01:03:00.001-08:00

I love how patient the Lord is...when we laugh and don't believe and think that what we desire is outside of the scope of possibilty, He very simply asks, "is there anything too hard for the Lord?"

When I feel like there isn't anyway that what I desire is possible because I have done too much wrong or I have messed up or there is just too much opposition...the Lord very simply responses to my freak out with, "is that really too hard for Me? I have done so many other amazing things...is that really too hard? Just be patient and wait for Me..."

God is just gracious and good and patient and compassionate and tender...He just all around amazes me!!!

Overflow

2010-01-07T00:04:00.001-08:00

The thing that stuck to me was this...out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. My desire is that because of God's grace and mercy that He would be evident through the my life and through my mouth. My Lord has done so much for me and I want that to be so clear and evident to everyone who talks to me.

I am not as careful with my tongue as should belt want to be and I really don't like that. I want my mouth to speak ONLY out of the overflow of my heart...then people will see more of Jesus and way less of me which is EXACTLY what I want.

I don't want to be another person that makes people feel bad about this or that or whatever. It's not my job to judge...I'm in the same boat as all humanity...In need of a Savior. I want the humility of being dependant upon the Lord to be visible in my life.

My prayer is that the Lord would continue to grow that in me and that He would make me more humble and that He would give me strength to control myself and my tongue.

Famished

2010-01-05T16:34:00.001-08:00

So today is day 5 of my reading throuh the bible in a year regiment. I realized today and over he last couple of days how much I have been missing the Word.

I have definitely not been as diligent as I could or should be in reading the word. Today when I was reading in Genesis through a bunch of names that at time resemble mismatched letters all jumbled together with no spaces and called a word/name...that even through the frustration of reading all those names I feel a little less famished; just for reading.

I felt like I was starving but couldn't figure out what I was hungry for...now I know. I was famished for the word. I feel like I am being satisfied now, and it's only been 5 days...

And everyday I read and blog and journal and allow the Lord to speak to me, I get more excited for the next day and the day after that!

Thankfulness

2010-01-05T00:12:00.000-08:00

So today's reading took to the story of Simon's mother-in-law. When I was reading I was particularly taken with the bit that said Jesus healed her and she immediately got up and began to wait on them.

I was just thinking about how good God is to provide food, clothing, shelter, financial provision and also spiritual provision and all of our physical needs. How thankful am I really? I mean I am amazingly thankful but is that reflected through my actions. How readily do I serve the Lord and His people?

Through the overflow of Simon's mother-in-law's thankfulness she immediately got up and started serving them. I want to be like...so thankful for the provision and care that He gives me that I am always drawn to serve those around me.

I have so much to be thankful for I want to wake up and immediately wait on the Lord.

Obediance

2010-01-04T01:25:00.001-08:00

Today's post is pretty simple. It's simple yet super difficult. My reading in Gensis brought me to Noah...and I found myself examining my own obediance. Noah was amazingly obediant. It says he found favor in God's eyes and that God remembered him and what he had promised. Noah did just as God had said. He followed His instructions exactly. I know that I am definitely not that obediant. I fight God on what He asks me to do...much more then I would like to admit. It's silly becaue it's not like I think I can do better on my own cause I know from past experience that I definitely can't. I just always have to ask...why?...for how long?...what will happen next?...what do you mean wait?...the list of questions goes on and on and on...

So my prayer for this next year but especially for this season in my life is that I would be more obediant...like Noah. No questions and no hesitations...just yes Lord. I want to find favor with the Lord...like Noah. I want to see the Lords provision and rememberance in my life through the things that He has asked me to scrifice or be blindly obediant in...like Noah.

Favor

2010-01-03T01:57:00.001-08:00

It says in Luke that God's favor was on man...I was just thinking about what that means for me. God's favor is on me...he wanted to be in relationship with me and not because He was in lack of anything or in need of something but because He wanted that for me. He wanted me to be in relationship with Him. He allows me to be in His presence and to be near Him and close to Him. He blesses me because He adores me because He chose me. He chose me to be His because of His favor on man. That's so RAD. Not only is it Rad but it makes me see the value of what I have in the Lord. Relationship, friendship, kindness, compassion, grace, love, and the list goes on and on. The amazingness of God and His graciousness to give it all to me...so RAD!!!

Creativity

2010-01-01T23:03:00.000-08:00

God's creativity blows my mind...the fact that He saw all of this surrounded by a great expanse of nothing seriously blows my mind! The fact that He saw me from nothing is even more amazing...

Sometimes I get discouraged and wonder what it is that I'm actually good at. I mean yes I'm creative and ic an figure out how to teach myself to do stuff and make some cool things but what does that really do? I can do a bunch of stuff but is it all just stuff or is there a reason for it?

Then I read Gensis and I realize the creativity of the Lord and it gives me q confidence in who I am and what I do. I am made in the image of God and God is the most creative of them all.

Basically...I AM my Father's daughter! :) (or at least I'm tryin to be more like Him...)

It's true...kept promises

2009-06-12T01:02:00.000-07:00

So over the past 2 years I have been attempting to teach myself to play the guitar. I love worship and writing and to be able to do both of those things along with instrumentation would be amazing. I was doing pretty good but stopped playing for a long time after my dad passed away...his guitar is now mine and the only song I actually for real know how to play, he taught me. So it was hard for awhile...recently I started taking actual lessons and as I have been practicing I am reminded by something my dad told me when I started to try to play and what my mom has reminded me of a bunch of times since then...

When my mom was pregnant with my sister, her and my dad prayed over her in my moms belly everyday that she would play the piano and sing and everyday they prayed that I would play the guitar and sing. When I told my mom I was going to start taking weekly lessons she reminded me of those daily prayers and she said "I know you can play because we prayed for it and believed it...it's a promise!"

As I think about that, I see the fulfilled promise in my sister's incredible piano playing. I am also amazed at the way the Lord reminds us of His promises through His word and through our daily lives, and I am again reminded that God is always faithful, always true, and always steadfast.

His goodness never fails to completely overwhelm me!!!

It's True...writing, writing, writing

2009-04-27T23:33:00.000-07:00

So hi all! Sorry it's been a while since my last post. So what has been going on in the last month?

Just a warning...this is gonna be a long one. Snuggle in and be prepared... :)

This past month, I have been reminded again and again of not just Gods goodness, but His kindness. He is gentle and caring and genuinely delights in our happiness (in Him of course). I have just realized, after thinking about all the things that have gone on, the Lord has so blessed me. He has given me encouragement, hope, creativity, release, and so many other things.

I ended March with a great weekend getaway to Oregon. It was a great time to just hang out with my wonderful friend Katherine, whom I love. We drove for hours and hours and hours...about the 12th hour cabin fever set in, as we began to say all the stores and street signs we saw in different types of accents and laughing soooo hard we were crying. I'm gonna be posting some pictures (which can all be found on facebook...I think) for your viewing pleasure.

Following my return trip (alone mind you...so sad), came the day of my birth. My birthday was pretty low key and relaxed. Overall really good. I was blessed by all the happy birthday wishes and my good friends and family. I was a little worried about the day, seeing as it was the last day that my whole family (daddy included) had dinner together, since exactly one week later, he was gone. To be perfectly honest, for whatever reason, I totally didn't even realize that it was exactly a week until like a month before my birthday when I was actually looking at my calendar. I guess (April) 8 + 7 (days) = (April) 15 never really pushed its way into the smart side of my brain...so after that I spent like 3 weeks worrying about how sad it was going to be going to dinner without him, and even more then not going to dinner is not going to Shiki. Shiki is my most favorite restaurant and I have gone there on my birthday since we moved to Orange. Last year was the 14th birthday dinner we had at Shiki. I haven't been there since my birthday last year and our last family dinner. I have wanted to but the idea of having to tell Richard (our resident server and chef at Shiki) that my dad died kills me. I still don't know if he knows. So the whole idea was scary and stressful.

We ended up going to PF Changs...second favorite place! We also went to Disneyland! I love Disneyland and not only did we go to Disneyland but we went to Disneyland with Danna kids...Danna kids make everything instantly better (I'm semi-biased about the Danna kids cause I love them so much but the idea goes for any kids and babies...they make everything better). We had a great time taking the train and wandering around. All followed by a movie with my momma and 2 of the best friends ever. (AGAIN...the Lord has blessed me abundantly!!!)

Next came "the day"...the one year anniversary. This was another day that I noticed Gods amazing kindness. We were blessed by all the thoughts and love that were sent our way, they were all greatly appreciated. First of all, it was a completely amazingly beautiful day. We went to Peter's Canyon and were reminded again of the beauty that the Lord has created that is all around us. I felt a great sense of peace while I was there, just for the half hour we there. I felt like I was just resting in Him. I knew that same way I knew when I came home that day and my mom told me what happened, that no matter what I fall into His arms. I felt it when I fell down that day that He caught me and I knew at the park that He would always do that. I will ALWAYS be save, protected, loved, comforted, and gently nurtured in the arms of my Lord. It was good day! The icing on top was that I got to have my weekly Caden time at church later on too...again kids make everything better

And last but not least...the last update I have is a new project I am working on. I am working on a book. It's a kids book about loss (specifically of a parent/father)...seeing as that is what I have experienced. My dad was working on a book and that was one of the things we really had in common. We both loved to write and express ourselves that way. I was approached my a friend who asked about what my writing goals were. I said I would have to pray about it and get back to him.

So I was praying about it a couple days before the 15th and while I was praying I was reminded of something that Collette told Carol during the summer after my dad died. She looked at Carol and said, "Grandma, I bet Uncle Guy is swimming in heaven." After I remembered that, I just got to thinking that swimming forever was the greatest thing that Collie could thing of. I mean to be able to swim forever was incredible...

That birthed "Where did daddy go?" (tentative title of course)...the idea is putting daddy being there one and not the next into word pictures that kids would think, "that's the greatest thing ever." For example one of the lines includes riding a bike as fast as wants. All the things that kids wish they could do all the time put that into the concept of heaven and being with Jesus to help explain the "what happens after" someone isn't there anymore.

I am really excited about it and I'm really pleased with the words and writing that I really feel like the Lord has blessed, brought about, and really made happen. I am currently working on layout, illustrations, and publishing...so it's really exciting. If anyone knows of a good illustrator that needs some cheap work...let me know. I can draw a house like it's nobodies business but trying to draw something else...yeah not so much.

So that is what the Lord is doing and working and making happen. I promise it won't be another month til my next post...

It's True...He does the rest

2009-03-24T07:07:00.000-07:00

God is so incredible.
I love that all we have to do is come to Him broken...and He does the rest.

I have been having trouble sleeping for just about a week now and I feel completely exhausted. It's 7:30am and I haven't been to bed yet. About an hour ago I pulled out my bible (finally...after tossing and turning for hours...) I read a few chapters, and of course, was almost instantly feeling more encouraged. As I started talking to the Lord, I just said "something just isn't right."

It seems like all it took was that simple realization. Something just isn't right and I know it's me... I believe that as soon as I did that, the Lord gave me this little ditty...which perfectly describes where I have been and what the Lord desires of me (and all of us).

This is my repentance, my prayer, and my desire...

Oh to be near You
to sit by Your side
to hear Your sweet voice
In You I abide

Though I may run
and sometimes I hide
nothing is secret
You see the inside

No matter the distance
or wrongs I have made
When darkness surrounds me
Your light will not fade

So give me the strength
to remain in this place
wrapped up in Your glory
and eternal embrace

It's True...He sees me

2009-02-18T00:25:00.000-08:00

"You are the God who sees me"
~Genesis 16:13

God sees me. I love reading the Bible, when you get to a verse that you've ready 1000 times and it just leaps off the page at you. Well this was one of those moments.

The last month has been a little crazy and somewhat discouraging in the fact that I have been sick, with various things, over and over and over again...pretty much non stop. I have been trying to just plug on through but it's been tough.

Reading that one verse today just encouraged me and made me feel a huge sense of peace. God sees me. He sees my sickness and He sees my heart. He sees every inch of who I am, which is incredibly encouraging when you feel like every time you go into the doctors office they look at you like you're crazy...

God not only sees me but He sees whatever it is that is wrong with me as well. He knows what the problem is and He knows how to fix it. He sees me. I'm just in awe of those 3 words...like I really am. Simply because I am so small...just one person, seemingly insignificant (according to the world's standards) and yet God sees me. He takes the time to see me and know me and not because I'm super great and have done anything to do deserve it. Simply because of how fantastic and because of how big He is.

It's Ture...more promises

2009-01-08T14:01:00.000-08:00

Well, it appears that I have been subconsciously worried about all sorts of things....Most of my reading and promises have been related to the Lord providing, whether it be financially, with in relationship, rescue, forgiveness, grace, sleep, rest, etc. The Lord ALWAYS provides what we need and He ALWAYS knows what we need. He doesn't forget about us...even if we try to stay away or get lost or wander around in circles for awhile. He still remembers us and He still remembers His promises.

January 3
Psalm 3: 3
But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.

Psalm 3: 5
I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.

Matthew 3:11
"I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire."

January 4
Genesis 8:1
But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that were with him in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth, and the waters receded.

Genesis 8:22
"As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease."

Psalm 4:8
I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

January 5
Psalm 5: 11-12
But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.

Matthew 5: 4
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Genesis 9:11
I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth."

January 6
Psalm 6:9
The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.

Matthew 6:8
Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Matthew 6:25
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

Matthew 6:32
For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

Christmas Quilts

2009-01-04T16:42:00.000-08:00

So for this Christmas, as part of my grieving process, I decided that I wanted to get crafty...I decided to make quilts for my family out of my dad's old t-shirts, jerseys, and other things. He so much and actually had a lot of stuff to choose from. I definitely didn't have a shortage of clothes to pick from.

So for about a month, all I did was work, eat, sleep, and quilt...It was really difficult and really emotional at times but it was also really good. One of the hardest times I remember was when I was cutting up his aloha shirts...most of them were dry clean only and when you only a wear a shirt for a couple hours at a time and like 3 times a month it doesn't get dry cleaned every week or so. I picked up one of his shirts and started to cut and I just got a huge whiff of him. The shirt still smelled like him because it hadn't been dry cleaned and not wore before he died. It made me miss him like crazy and I just sat there smelling that shirt for like 20 minutes.

I had lots of moments like that through out the process but I also had lots of release and healing as well. So...here are my quilts. Well some of them anyway. Not pictured are my moms and Tiffany and Richards.

Rick and Carol...All those white squares have little music notes on them...
special for Auntie Carol

Grandpa and Grandma...this took FOREVER!!!

Auntie Jamie

Lauren

Alanna...did you know that her hip bone comes up to the top of my rib cage!!!! RIDICULOUS!

Uncle and Auntie...Old Guys Rule...

It's True...Promises

2009-01-03T01:36:00.000-08:00

So, on New Year's Eve we got these "life journals" that have a reading schedule to read through the Bible in a year...it's been awhile since the last time I actually read through the entire Bible, so I figured 2009 seems like a great time to start it up again...

When I was praying on New Year's Eve, asking the Lord to prepare me for He had planned, I felt like the Lord spoke something very simple to me...this year I needed to meditate daily on the promises of the Lord. Promises of the Lord through out the scriptures and things that the Lord reveals as promises specifically to me for the next year through out my daily reading.

So, I started yesterday and next to my "daily promises" in my Bible I have started to put a big "P" right next to them and in my life journal I reference them so I know when the Lord gave them to me and where to look for them.

I have decided that I want to share my daily promises with all of you that check in on this lovely little blog of mine...so (almost) everyday (hopefully) I will post my daily promises and if I miss a day I'll post them with the day after...

So here goes...

January 1, 2009
Psalm 1: 3
"He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yield its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."

Psalm 1: 6
"For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish."

The Lord promises blessing in season. There is always blessing that comes eventually...
Not only does the Lord promises blessing, but He also promises favor, provision, and protection. He promises to watch over the way of the righteous. Those seem like pretty good promises to me...The Lord brings fruit in season and He watches over the way of the righteous. Whatever he does will prosper!

January 2, 2009
Genesis 3:21
"The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them."

Adam and Eve sinned against Lord. They turned and walked away from Him. Even through punishment (being sent out of the garden) the Lord provided for them. He clothed them. He continued to care for them, even in His anger and sadness, He was compassionate and kind to them.

Psalm 2:8
"Ask of me and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession."

God desires to lavish us with good things, we only need ask. He tells us that all we need to do is ask...Just ask and it's yours. "I will make the nations your inheritance...Everything I have I give to you." God is just so amazingly good to us. We just need to tap into the goodness that is waiting right in front of us. All we have to do is reach out and take a hold of it.

Psalm 2:12b
"Blessed are all who take refuge in Him."

God provides. He brings comfort, blessing, and refuge. He is a shield in times of trouble. God blesses those who bless Him and nothing brings Him more joy then to be near us. When we take refuge in Him (through good times and bad) He is delighted and over joyed and pours those things out in abundance upon us! Again, we only need to ask and start grabbing onto the things that the Lord has waiting for us.

SIDENOTE

2008-12-15T04:36:00.000-08:00

I started a new blog...just for fun.

Katie told me to review movies...so here is the first

http://kristiesmoviereviews.blogspot.com/

Thai Time...something special for me

2008-12-13T15:32:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had one of those things happen that makes you sit down with the Lord and just say, "Thank you. That was special just for me..." I felt like last night was one of those special moments between me and the Lord.

Last night was our annual women's Christmas tea. It's a bit of a traditional for the Danna/Poncy ladies to go on the same night and be served by the men and just have a good time. While I was super excited for the tea this year (because I love the tea...I always have a great time), I was also kind of dreading it.

See every year my dad would serve our table. He was hysterically part of our ladies tradition...simply because he was such a nerd (but in like a serious way, that's why it was so funny). Every year he would wear and vest and a pair of white gloves. Gloves, you might wonder...yeah...I have NO idea. But he was just too funny and he would snag extra of the only things that me and my mom eat (both of us are super picky). The little things like that make it what it was.

I was sad all week in preparation for doing the Christmas tea for the first time with out him and this year we had a comedian come as our guest speaker. She was super funny and genuine and just really in love with the Lord. She shard a verse from Isaiah 61 that the Lord so easily inserted my name in to, it was really just for me (and I'm sure a bunch of the other women in the room) but really it was a me and Jesus moment.

She shared Isaiah 61: 1-3, which I have translated into Jesus' words for me...feel free to do the same. It's quite encouraging (at least it was to me...)

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on you Kristie,
because I have anointed you
to preach good news to the poor.
I have sent you to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
just as I have done for you.
I have bound your broken heart
and I have set you free from captivity and darkness.

I have anointed you to proclaim that this is the year of My favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion, including you Kristie.

I will bestow on you a crown a beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of your mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

You will be called an oak of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord for the displays of His splendor.

Sometimes, especially with the way that I have been feeling lately, it's just nice to know that the Lord hasn't forgotten. He hasn't forgotten about the pain or about how bad it still hurts. He hasn't forgotten and He so desires to comfort me and be near me.

Thai Time...Undivided

2008-12-09T12:05:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks ago I was reading Psalm 86 at the mall before I started work, and I have been continually being reminded of it ever since. I have read that particular Psalm a bunch of times before that no one section in it has ever stood out so greatly to me. I love the way the Lord works. Every time you read the same verse, you learn something different and the Lord shows you something else through it.

Pslam 86:11
"Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name."

I meditated on that one verse all day at work. I just repeated "give me an undivided heart" over and over again. Through repetition the Lord started to reveal to me ways that my heart is divided. The goal is that our hearts would be completely the Lord's and that He was give you the capacity to love and experience other things.

I feel like over the past couple months I have just been so busy with stuff that I have forgotten that the Lord is the one that makes it possible to love and be loved. He's the one that makes being productive at work possible. He's the one that gives me time in the day to get everything done that I need to get done and He supplies me with the tools to do it all.

Psalm 86: 13, 15
"For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave. But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness."

God is the only person, place, or thing worth giving our hearts completely too. We forget that, through marriage and relationship and friendship and careers and even doing what the Lord has called you to do. Those are all blessings and desires the Lord has for us, but they ALWAYS come secondary to HIM!

I have given little pieces of my heart away to people, things, stuff, and doing what the Lord wants. It could be a very small and subtle piece, but you know what a bunch of small and subtle pieces lead up to??? A divided heart.

So my prayer over the past couple weeks has been pretty simple.
"Lord show me where my heart is divided. Give me strength to take back my heart. Most of all Lord, GIVE ME AN UNDIVIDED HEART."

Thai Time...a bit of a refresher

2008-11-03T15:41:00.000-08:00

I wrote this little ditty a few weeks ago. This is just where my heart has been at over the last few weeks. Just truly desperate for the Lord and clinging to the promises of His word and of His love.

I know that even in the darkest and driest times the Lord is faithful and His promises are true. Just like it says in Jeremiah. Heal me and I will be healed, save me and I will be saved. God is big enough.

My soul is weak
My heart is broken and bruised
I come to Your throne
and fall at Your feet

Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed
Save me, O Lord, and I will saved

In the darkest times
When silence screams
I remember Your love
as I cry out again

I will not fear
I will not sway
I know Your love remains

Sadness sets in and
I fall in Your arms again

Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed
Save me, O Lord, and I will be saved.

Thai Time...no bounds

2008-09-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

So the last few days, actually about a week or so, the Lord has just been working on me in the simplest of terms...

Very simply, He has been showing me through His word and people around me, that His love has no bounds.

When I feel alone and on my own, tired, frustrated, worn out, dry, uncertain, scared, or whatever...His love covers all of that. It doesn't have expectations and it's not bound by disappointment. No matter what, He will still be madly in love with me!

So, I am just trying to walk in the confidence I have in God's love. I am confidently resting in the knowledge and surrounding of God's love for me. He cares about how I feel and where I'm at and what I'm doing and what I'm going through.

God's love is unending and deserves to be praised. When things get out of control and I feel dry or overwhelmed or whatever else...I will be confident in God's love and I will praise Him because He is worthy and good.

Thai Time...feeling a little dry

2008-09-23T01:47:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted anything for awhile. I have been going through a bit of a dry season. I have been having a really hard time in my alone time with the Lord. I feel like the Lord just isn't talking to me...

I know that the Lord promises to make Himself known and I absolutely believe that promise and I am holding on to it for dear life. I have seen Him do it in my life in so many ways. It's just discouraging. I feel like the Psalmist when he cries out, "How long will you keep yourself from me?" That has been the reoccurring question in my mind...How long Lord? Not just How long, but also for what?

How long?
For what?

I don't know...For now please keep me in prayer. I am trying to remain faithful and steadfast and pressing through in faith, knowing that the Lord is bigger than me and my circumstances, and that I am in Christ. I am covered by everything that He is. I may feel far away but I know with everything inside of me that He is with me...never far away and never with His back turned. He is there with out stretched arms...

I love you all and I will be writing again soon. I Promise!!!

Thai Time...Day Unknown

2008-09-04T20:28:00.000-07:00

Sorry the long break between posts...Things have been a bit topsy turvy the last few weeks. I have been in a bit of a funk and to be honest, haven't really been faithfully ding my Thai time. I find it really easy to "get busy" when I am trying really hard to just be ok. I have been so focused on not feeling the way that I have been that I have forgotten to stop and let God bring me out of where I have been. Each day is better and realization is the first step. Once I figured recognized the fact that I was semi-starving for the Lord, it became really easy to pay attention to the food that the Lord was trying to give me.

Now let's get back to business...Thai time! I don't know what day I'm suppose to be on but I guess it doesn't really matter that much...today is today.

The simple idea that “God made today” opens up so many different aspects of God’s character and of how that character relates to people as individuals. The fact of the matter is this, God did not just make today, He made today for me. Even after the fall of man, God still desired to be near me. God sent His only son, the son of the living God, Jesus Christ, to die for me. He paid the price for my sin and shame. He paid our way into relationship with the creator of everything.

The beauty of the cross is this, once you take hold of it, once you let it in your life, it is there forever. God never walks away, He never lets go. He is in everything I do and everywhere I go. No matter where I go or what I do, God is there with me, holding me up and drawing me in. God draws me in, He ushers me into His presence for a very simple reason, simply to say, “I Love You! And I want you!” God loves me and He only wants to be near me. God desires for us to fall madly in love with Him, the way He is with us.

It is because of that love that I try to wake up every morning with the attitude of “this is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.” God made this day for me, He made today so that I could walk with Him. He made today so that I could love people the way that He has so graciously and wonderfully loved me. God made this day especially for me.

Next time you wake up and can not think of a good reason to get out of bed, remember that God thought of you when he put that day into motion. God thought about all the time that He would get to spend with you on that day.

Praise God for reminders of His love and grace and provision. In the midst of chaos, misunderstanding, and craziness, God gives us simple reminders of how much He really does care for us and how much we really do mean to Him. I am so thankful for God provision in my life and for the knowledge that today is God's day!

TODAY IS GOD'S DAY!!!

Thai Time...Camp Days

2008-08-12T10:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am way behind! Thanks for all the reminders...things have been crazy for the last few weeks! So let me just summarize camp up for you...

Camp was full of ups and downs for me. It was amazingly emotional, like way more than I thought. It's kind of funny because I have been semi-prepared for emotional milestones in this grieving process...but I didn't except or think that little Lake Mead would be one of those milestones. Well, it was. I missed my dad so much. More then I have in the last month or so.

We used to take family vacations to Lake Mead almost every year since I was little. I have soooo many memories, good and bad and everywhere in between. The weekend brought up a lot of hurt, and sadness for me, but through that the Lord proved Himself faithful once again. He provided compassion and kindness. Camp, for me, wasn't one of those "mountain top" spiritual experiences. I think it was just a time for the Lord to speak practical...this is what I want from you and for you into my life.

Thursday was a super rough day. I was really mad at God on Thursday. I was mad that my dad wasn't around for me to call and tell him how good the weather was or how perfect the lake was for wake boarding, simple things that I so desired at that moment. Thursday night brought a lot of tears and confession of anger. It always amazes me how patient God really is with me. That even in those moments of "I seriously don't like you right now" He is still reaches down and gives me a little "It's ok. I understand and I'm still here."

Friday morning, I went to go have my Thai Time with the Lord and He spoke something to me that at the point I was at, was so profound...Thankfulness. To constantly have a spirit of thankfulness, regardless of your circumstances. My situation and my feelings don't dictate how much I have to be thankful for. The fact of the matter is this...no matter how much God has taken away, He has given so much more. So, I spent the rest of the weekend trying to change my perspective on being thankful and the way that I thank the Lord. I don't want to just thank Him for all that He's done for me, I want to be thankful and be aware of all the He IS! He is so much more than I can understand and fathom. I want to always be pouring out thanks to Him for simply being who He is.

I had to put that into practice on Saturday when I took a bit of a spill on the lake. I was extremely irritated and mad at myself for getting hurt and having to sit all day...I tried to tell the people around me it wasn't a big deal, I was fine, whatever (that's my dad in me...stubborn beyond belief). Anyways, I spent that time just thinking and meditating on how even that circumstance, I still have so much right at my finger tips. After coming home, I went to the doctors and it turns out that turning that little spill, I fractured 2 ribs...

Anyways, that is just a little something that the enemy tried really hard to get me down with...God wasn't having it. God is bigger and better than anything I could ever imagine. He loves me more and cares for me more than anyone else ever could. I am amazingly thankful for everything that He is and for the place that He has brought me. Even through my circumstances of pain and grief God has used it to bring to a place of better understanding and really just more of who I feel like I'm really suppose to be. So Praise God for that.

Thai Time...Day 3

2008-08-06T23:48:00.000-07:00

Today was all about FREEDOM! I read something yesterday in Psalm 142 that I really just meditated on today. "Set me free from my prison, that I may praise Your name."

I woke up and the Lord reminded me of that bit from yesterday. The Lord sets us free from our prison so that we may praise Him. I wasn't sure why I had that on my heart all day until a little bit before service tonight and after.

I have been meeting with a lady at the church to just talk through grief and different things going on in my life and she is great because she will tell me how it is. While we were talking, she pointed out to me that I work myself up for no reason a lot of the time. I work myself up about a false reality that I choose to make real in my thought process, so her challenge for me was to work on objectively looking at situations...

I don't know why, but I felt really uneasy as I headed down to service and during worship, I found myself hysterical in the back of the room with floods of guilt, shame and regret about some recent situations in my life rushing over me. It just so happened that the topic of the message was REPENTANCE! Funny...

Repent, meaning to turn away from whatever it is that is holding you back. As he was speaking, I could feel the Lord stirring up some "little" things in me, just attitudes or thoughts or feelings, etc., that it was time for me to turn away from, but it's never easy to abandon things that you don't even notice you do because you do them so often.

After church, I went for a drive with Jesus. I am a driver. I drive when I just need to "work it out". As I talked with the Lord this concept of freedom was at the forefront of my mind and my heart...It kind of made sense. As I worshiped and talked with the Lord, I kept apologizing, over and over. I felt like the Lord almost stopped me finally and was just like..."Hey, you only have to tell me once! It's done!"

There is such freedom in those few words...IT'S DONE! It's finished, it is no longer important, it's no longer an issue. Walk in FREEDOM.

The Lord sets prisoners free. He breaks chains that bind. He delights in and loves the righteous. Be humble, admit you made a mistake and then let the Lord pick you up and walk. I told God what I did, what I was ashamed of, mistakes made, bad decisions made...I told Him and in replace of my anxiety and brokenness, He gave amazing peace and joy. He freely gives those things. All He requires in openness. He wants us to be real with Him. I couldn't narrow it down to one or two things...so I took an hour and drove around confessing and repenting before the Lord. Goodness knows there are still plenty of things for me to turn away from, but you have to start somewhere.

These are a few verses that really stuck out to me when I was reading and praying about freedom. I found these verses incredibly encouraging, some as a reminder that no matter what the prison is...God can open the doors and set us free. It could be an addiction or an attitude or sickness or grief...other's as a reminder that we are continuously a work in progress, which isn't a bad thing. Progress is good, no matter how slow or fast...and finally, because God freely pardons. God gives because He wants to. He gives mercy because He wants to. He sets us free because He wants to be near us. What could be more encouraging than that? As wretched and sinful as I am, God sets me free. He freely gives mercy and He freely pardons.

"The Lord sets prisoners free,
the Lord gives sight to the blind,
the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down,
the Lord loves the righteous."
- Psalm 146: 7b-8

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lords glory, are being transformed into His likeness with every-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."
- 2 Corinthians 3: 17-18

"Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon."
- Isaiah 55: 7

I won't be posting for the next couple days...I will be at Lake Mead for college camp. Please keep us in your prayers. I'll have more Thai Time blurbs coming your way Monday!

Love you all!

Thai Time...Day 2

2008-08-06T00:07:00.000-07:00

Today's Thai Time was a little different than yesterday. Today, I found myself really desperate to be near the Lord. I mean, I am always trying to seek after the Lord and really rely on Him, but today was one of those days that you really understand how much you need the Lord.

Every chance I got, I couldn't help but cry out to Him. I needed to be refreshed and to be encouraged and just to know that the Lord still had everything under control. Some days I forget that the Lord knew and knows what He's doing. So today, I just prayed that the Lord would remind me and give me some encouragement along those lines. In my reading, I came to Psalm 142...

I cry aloud to the Lord;
I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.

I pour out my complaint before Him;
before Him I tell my trouble.

When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is You who know my way.
In the path where I walk
men have hidden a snare for me.

Look to my right and see;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life.

I cry to you, O Lord;
I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living."

Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.

Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise Your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of Your goodness to me.

The Lord showed me a few things...

1. He wants us to talk OPENLY with Him. He wants us to share everything that is going on...to complain, to be mad, to be sad, to be confused, to repent, and everything in between. There isn't any safer environment to be open and be honest than with the living God.

2. God sustains us. When we grow faint, only He knows what we need. He is the only one who understands and knows exactly what we feel and what we need and what we desire.

3. When it feels like we are running the race alone, He is our refuge and our companion.

4. We only need to cry out...God listens to the cries of His children. He waits expectantly to hear from us and He delights in every minute of it.

5. We are desperate for God. He is the only one who can bring us through the rough spots. Only He can set us free.

6. We MUST praise the Lord. We need to rejoice in the freedom we have in Christ and we need to do it together, corporately. Everything God does in us is for the glory of the kingdom. We need to praise Him for His work and then we need to affirm each other in those changes. Give God glory...

I know, I know, that's kind of a lot. The practical application (by that, I mean what the Lord putting specifically on my heart) is this...In the rough moments, when things seem to be at their worst, God is there. In the good moments when growth and restoration are happening, God is there. He is never far from me. I worry sometimes that the Lord is going to get sick of hearing about how it really sucks that my dad is gone, but then I read these verses and I see that God wants to know. He wants me to tell Him how I feel. He wants me to share the battles that are raging inside of me, and in return He promises mercy, compassion, freedom, and refuge. He is my portion in the land of the living and He sets me free from my prison. He is my supply and everything that I need, long for and seek after.

Thai Time...Day 1

2008-08-05T13:39:00.000-07:00

Thai Time Day 1 consisted of a lot of checking myself and trying to work through priorities and what's really important to me. I decided that I needed to decide what should come first and why. Nothing much to say here, just an encouragement...if you haven't recently made a list, you should.

What is really important to you? What do you devote the most time to? How does that change your day or attitude about the day? Different things effect us different ways and when we are continuously consumed with the same things, it's bound to start effecting you one way or the other. So how does your daily routine effect you? I just only started a list and realized that I was gonna need to think about it over the course of a few days in order to have a better look at myself, so that it kind of task one for the next week: To make a list of priorities and a list of things that really need to be minimized or cut out completely. I'll you all know how it goes...

It's true...it's time for something new!

2008-08-04T14:15:00.000-07:00

Since I have been home, the Lord as been putting a lot on my heart in my time with Him. So now that I am home, this blog thing is gonna kind of switch a little bit. The Lord has been putting it on my heart to dive into His word and into His presence, much more than I do and have before. He has shown me the importance of continuously being with Him over the last few months and finding my strength and my joy in Him and in His promises, like I wrote about a few weeks ago.

I am going to be doing daily (hopefully) posts about my "Thai Time" (thanks for the name Luis). For the next month, well at least starting for now...maybe longer) I am going to be setting aside at least an hour or two everyday to just be, to just be with the Lord. I'll read and pray and spend time with Him and just wait on the Lord. So everyday, for somewhat of accountability as well as discussion, I'll post little blurbs about something that stood out to me, etc.

So that's what I am up to for now. Today is day one! I haven't had my "Thai Time" yet so I will be posting something a little bit later on in the day...hope to hear from all of you and if I don't post stuff for a few days feel free to check in with me to make sure I am in fact doing it! I may need some help to allow myself some time to just relax and not think about all the stuff I have to do...I tend to over book myself some times.

Ok so love you all! Check back later for Day one!

It's true...The Grand Palace is pretty sweet!

2008-07-24T23:43:00.000-07:00

More pictures...this time of our Grand Palace extravaganza!
Just me, Sarah Jane, and Kirstin. Hanging out, taking the boat, riding in TukTuk's, and doing some sight seeing...great day. Long but really great!

Grand Palace...from the outside

Sarah Jane...I miss her already!

Shhhh...I'm not supposed to have this picture.

Amazing...

Yeah for traveling buddies!

Demon or Monkey? I can't tell...it's one or the other though

I don't know...he just looked really cool.

details, details...

So many details...

Yeah...still can't tell. I think it's a monkey...or maybe a demon.

Us as again.

gate keepers...

and again...

All 3...notice that the young one doesn't have bags under eyes...

guard...not aloud to talk or smile or whatnot.

There was some kind of monk worship service going on in there while we were there and a few Thai girls took pictures with us...just because we were white.

The reclining Buddha...

Huge! Like Building size!

It's true...time for pictures from retreat!

2008-07-20T06:47:00.000-07:00

So here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure...
These are just a few of my favorites (pictures and people)...

The backyard of our hotel

Kirstin was kind of the cat lady at retreat...
there were a whole bunch of cats (at least 10) I think she held every single one...

Me and Sarah Jane on the beach in Rayong

Me and Kirstin...on the same beach in Rayong

Me and Nat...she's amazingly funny

Beach Volleyball...we played nation vs. nation.
This game was supposed to be between the Americans and Australians...
except, there is was only 1 Australian on the Australian team (look at Sarah Jane go)...
the rest were Thai's.

Me and Sarah Jane before Dinner

Just one of the FEASTS that was prepared for us this weekend...
none of which I actually ate...

Night fall on the beach in Thailand...AMAZING!!!

Me and Kirstin after Dinner just hanging out...

Me and Cindy...doing more of the same...

Oh!!!! That's all...she's one of my favorite people...

Last day of camp...Me and P'Wun (oh yeah, and Evan...being ridiculous in the background)
Wow, you know next to the foreigners I look tan but next to a Thai person, I'm a totally whitey!

Kirstin was the cat lady and the ice cream lady...

Rayong, Thailand

Just two random kids playing on the beach...They were pretty cute.

Me and P'Bow.
This was when we had just got to the turtle place and she had just woken up...

I love Thai writing...So pretty.

I'm in the Lord's army...Yes sir!

Little baby sea turtle.
Actually this one is like 1 months old

Mandy and Trish from the Australian team.

View of the bay from the turtle place.
Our hotel was to the left and over the ocean from that island.

More of pretty Thailand

I don't know...they wanted me to get in the turtle so I did.

Little bitty baby turtles...

I love Thailand.

Me and my Sarah Jane

Me and P'Nave

We both hardly fit on that swing...
hence me looking quite awkward and uncomfortable.

and finally...more of beautiful Thailand!

So those were a few of my favorites from Our Home Chapel Retreat. The Lord really blessed us all during that time and I am so thankful that I got to come and be apart of what is going on here again and that I got to be with my Thai family and make new friends from Australia and Hawaii.

It's true...retreat was pretty fantastic!

2008-07-20T05:40:00.000-07:00

You know, the Lord is just so good. It is kind of hard to express how much He does and how perfectly He plans things. So we came over here, expecting to teach English at an English camp. The Lord however, had other things in mind. As I said earlier, only 8 people signed up and we needed 100 in order to break even. So clearly, that was just not enough...

So, Pastor Dton decided that we should do a staff/missionary retreat in it's place, in order to take a break and just hang out. So...this blog is going to be my attempt at telling you about camp with out it being like 27 pages long...we'll see how I actually do.

Let's start with me being scared out of my mind...how about that??? I was told the morning we were leaving for retreat that on the last day, I was going to have to talk about evangelizing to youth for an hour. What the heck? Seriously? I immediately started to FREAK OUT. For starters, I don't speak Thai and I totally started to disqualify myself. I was thinking what do I know about evangelism...

That was how my trip started. I scooped myself into the van and tried my very hardest not to burst into tears. So things were going through my mind and on top of it all, at that moment, I just really wanted to talk to my dad. I knew that he would have had something to say to calm me down and make me feel more confident. Just like he always did with teaching stuff. I just started to silently vent about the situation to the Lord, asking Him for peace and wisdom and words...cause I didn't have any ideas. The point of the workshop was for people to talk about how to minister to different groups of people to the Thai staff that is in charge of each ministry, which for me, made it even more stressful. I don't know why. It probably had a lot more to do with other stuff then with what was actually going on, but anyways...as I was talking it over with the Lord, I just felt such a peace and He slowly started to speak different things to me, different ideas and points that I could share. I am so thankful that I serve a God who is amazingly faithful and constant, always near.

After that, I felt so much better and was able to relax a little bit more. Me and the people in my van had some great prayer time for a few different things. We prayed for my sister to get her stolen stuff back and for my back (which, by the way, I have somehow done something to...not good...very painful) and also for safe travel. Then we headed out and...watched KUNG FU PANDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep, that's right, I totally bought a copy of Kung Fu Panda for 80B ($2.50).

When we got to the hotel, we dropped off our stuff and headed for the beach. It was soooo beautiful. I took so many pictures (SIDENOTE: the next post will be pictures from retreat). We started the day off with some worship and an opening message from Pastor Kelly. He talked to us about Spiritual Disciplines and about solitude and how we just need to spend time ALONE with the Lord. Away from people and distraction and just listen to what He has to say to us. He talked about other disciplines as well, like fasting and tithing. It was a very good message...a little long but very good. I kept scanning the place and I think just about everyone did the "falling asleep head nod" at least once.

Our night worship service was just amazing. The Lord so gently whispered that He was going to take care of me and that I didn't have to worry. The presence of the Lord is just so overwhelming. It's so hard to keep yourself together when the Lord grabs a hold of you and just wraps you up in His arms...It's just the best place to be. After day 1 festivities ended, some of us headed to the beach. Like I said, the Lord plans things really amazingly. It ended up being me, Sarah Jane, Cindy, and Evan just talking for a couple hours. We were able to share our thoughts and struggles and positives and everything else. I was totally encouraged by worship and everything else that I was able to be honest about the ups and downs of the last 3 months. After we were all done talking we all prayed with each other and for each other. It was just a really nice time of fellowship and relationship and I am just really thankful for the time.

Friday, we started with worship and a devotion from one of the Australian missionaries, Mandy. She talked about worship and being in the presence of the Lord and expressing yourself through different ways, so when she was done, we spent a few more minutes in worship. Just singing a new song to the Lord. Inviting Him to walk with us and thanking Him for how great He is and just whatever the Spirit put on our hearts. I think it was stretching for some but very positive. After breakfast, it was time for a little practical application. We spent an hour in solitude with the Lord.

I just walked the beach for an hour and talked to the Lord. I cried, a lot, worshiped Him and listened to whatever He had to speak to me. It was an awesome time to just be and receive. I was slightly encouraged and really drained after that hour though. I was just kind of tired but pushed through because I was promised that the Lord would take care of me and everything that I had to do. One of the things they had to visiting missionaries do is an English teaching for the Thai staff. Me and Kirstin were in charge of Grammar...yeah...I don't really know anything about grammar. So, I wasn't really looking forward to having to teach it for 90 mins but I was trying to be positive. We ended up running late and only having 30 mins of time with the staff. We also ended up only have 4 people in our group. It was really low key and not stressful at all. We just had them ask questions, we went over complete sentences, and did some mad libs. It was actually really nice.

After that we did some other stuff, ate dinner, and had service, which was all really good. The hotel cooked all our meals and they were like for real Thai meals...aka: I didn't eat anything. Literally. So Friday night, I ate a granola bar and a fruit snack and headed off to take a shower and go to bed. After I ate, I started to feel really sick, I figured a shower would help so I kind of just ignored it a little. When I got back to the room, my stomach started to cramp up and well the end result of that was just not cool at all...then as soon as the not coolness ended, I started throwing up...also not cool at all. After all of that I felt like junk so I took a freezing cold shower (our hotel didn't have any hot water) and passed out.

Sorry, I know I said I was going to try to make this not super long, but I just can't help myself. I'm almost done I promise. Saturday went really good. The Lord put mine and Kirstin's thoughts together quite nicely in our talk with the youth leaders. They asked questions, we gave ideas, and told them a lot about how we do things at the church. Kirstin talked about High School group and what she likes about it and what works for her and what doesn't. I think it helped them a lot to be able to hear from someone still in the age group.

On the way home we stopped at the Turtle Conservatory and Museum. Have a mentioned lately that I love turtles? They we so cute. They had little babies up to like 9 months old so you could see the differences in their growth at different ages. Then we walked down to where you could actually touch the turtles in a big tank. I didn't reach my hand in their though because the water looked really dirty...the conservatory was right up against the water's edge so we took a bunch of pictures and just enjoyed the view. After that we headed for Bangkok, watching I Love Lucy the whole way...I was in heaven! We watched some of my favorite episodes including, Lucy does a TV commercial, Ricky things he's getting bald, and Lucy's Schedule. Sooooo good!!!!!!

When we got home, I went to the bathroom (again...), unpacked, did a load of laundry, finished putting pictures on here and then headed for the movies. So, that was my weekend in a very large nutshell. This is what I will leave you with...Retreat was fantastic and really refreshing and Batman was amazing! Check out some pictures of retreat too. Hopefully I will get them added tonight, if not, tomorrow. Love you all!

It's true...pictures, pictures, and more!

2008-07-15T03:34:00.000-07:00

Hey all! I kind of have a lot to cover...it's been a few days and we've done a few things. So here is kind of the rundown of what I have been up to for the past little while. We went shopping in China Town, did more construction, I got really sick, saw Hellboy 2, played Uno at the Ram University and met some new people, went shopping at the Night Bizarre (and watched a lady boy sing Kelly Clarkson...), went to the floating market and rode an elephant.

It's been a busy few days for sure!

So first off...Friday, we headed to China Town, to see some sights and do some shopping. Everywhere we have been shopping has just been too overwhelming. There is just entirely too much stuff, I don't know what to do with it all and I have no idea...my brain is hurting after the all the shopping we've been doing the last few days. So, what I am going to do tomorrow? Oh yeah, that's right...SHOPPING!!!

We have also been doing more work on the new building. It's very exciting to be involved in that process, even if it is just in a small way. I was here before they even started to break ground and I got to see the vision and the goal when it was only in the planning phase and now to be a part of the actually progress has been really great. We haven't been doing anything extreme or even anything that is the immediately seen but still. The fact that we have been able to help them by doing things that just simply take a lot of time to do is cool.

Oh so here's the deal with me getting sick...I'm not quite sure how it happened or what happened exactly, all I know is that I spent the night with a fever, cold sweat, and everything expelling itself from my body...gross and not cool at all! We went to pizza company after working on the building I ate half of piece of pepperoni pizza (w/no sauce) and started to feel really sick. I threw up in the bathroom at the mall, went home, threw up everything I had eaten all day (which wasn't much) and then crawled into bed feeling like junk. I woke up the next morning feeling LOADS better...not great but WAY better, so praise God for that! I am still having stomach issues so if you could all keep that in prayer that would be awesome!

Yesterday, we went with the team from Hawaii to Ram University. The goal was to build relationship, invite people to church, and just hang out. So we brought Uno with us and just hung out with students. We talked and a couple tried to play the "guess what nationality I am" game...they totally thought that I was European. Funny.

Last night we went to the night bizarre. More of the same stuff...I really need to make a list or something of things I would like to buy so I don't seem like a deer in headlights when I actually go shopping...I should definitely do that as soon as I finish this...

and today...we went to the FLOATING MARKET! Yeah. I took so many pictures because really the floating market is one of my favorite places. It's just so awesome and great! It's just such a cool place to relax and enjoy the view.

After we left the floating market we headed for the ELEPHANTS...have I told you all lately that I heart elephants??? I really do. They are just my favorite. This time around we had some trouble though. We had a hard time getting a good price and when we did, we didn't get to do the same stuff we did last time. We kind of had a hard time getting them to let Kirstin ride on the actual elephant but our guy finally let her do it right at the end, so that was sweet!
There was another elephant that was totally dancing...I mean just rockin' out to some techno music. It was sooooo cute. Cindy was trying to dance with him and he totally booted her (forcefully) out of his dance party! Overall, it was a really good of relaxing and hanging out. Just being with friends!

Now for some pictures...I was going to put the pictures with the paragraphs but it was getting a little confusing to keep track of what was going on so I just wrote first and now it's picture time! Here are some pictures from pretty much everything in the last few days and then some...

So...let's start with this! "If it swims...we have it!"
I don't think I really need to say much about that except...AWESOME!!!

Me, Elena, and Cindy

China Town!

Me and Cindy!

This is what we have been doing...making this little concrete molds...apparently they are going to support the floor once it goes in or something like that. Guess which side was done by me...Miss OCD???

There is a rooster living in the building with the construction team.
I guess it's quite friendly too and at some point, I'm almost positive that it will be food...

Some new friends from University...playing Uno

Me and Oh...I really love her!

YEAH!!! ELEPHANTS!!!

Me and Kirstin up onto of our sweet little elephant.

I just love them soooo much and no...I wasn't actually kissing it...that would be gross!
You don't even know how dirty these lovely animals are...

Me, Kirstin and my lovely long lost friend Sarah Jane.
Just floating around the floating market.

Floating Market...one of the greatest places ever.
Perfect for picture taking!

The crew...Chris, Kristen, Sarah Jane, Me, Cindy, and Kirstin.
Lovely!

Me and Sarah Jane.
I do love her so...

Ok so, I am heading to see BATMAN!!!! YES!!!!
I will write about the retreat (which was totally awesome) tomorrow and I'll post some more pictures. I have sooooooo many. It's ridiculous! So I will get on making those available for everybody to check out.

It's true...God is really AWESOME!!!

2008-07-10T04:46:00.000-07:00

“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.”

I read this bit in Psalm 119 this morning. Talk about a peace giving scripture. I had kind of a rough day yesterday with missing my dad and just feeling a little out of sorts and kind of defeated a little. My stomach is still killing me, and my dad isn’t here to ask me what I ate and tell me I’m gross…I know that sounds weird, but my dad had two staple responses to things of a medical nature. “Well, what did you eat?” and “Just take some ibuprofen and put some ice on it.”

Things were just really weighing on me this morning. I felt it in my whole body and it wasn’t just because I was REALLY sore from my brick carrying yesterday. My heart hurt a little when I woke up. It wasn’t extreme and I didn’t feel depressed or anything like that, just out of sorts.

So, I wake up feeling like that and I read, “My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.” And then I starting thinking about all the promises of the Lord and how amazingly faithful He really is. Blessing after blessing are promised to His children. Peace, grace, mercy, love, friendship, joy, strength, shelter, fruitfulness, healing, restoration, reconciliation, the list goes on and on and on. My comfort is found in those things, in the promises of the Lord. Those things preserve my life. I don’t have to be weighed down by feelings of sadness or anger because my life is held up in the hands of the Lord. My comfort in the midst of suffering is Him and ALL that He is.

It doesn’t say that I won’t feel suffering or sadness, simply that in the midst of that, He knows. I find great comfort in knowing that the Lord is perfectly ok with me feeling exactly the way that I feel. I know that when I bring those emotions and feelings to where they belong, at the foot of the cross and with Jesus, He is delighted to take them. That is a promise and it absolutely preserves my life. It gives me comfort and joy unspeakable, even in the dark times, because in my suffering He is there and in my joy, He is there. Always constant, always present, always faithful, always kind, always loving, ALWAYS EVERYTHING!!! So, I hope that you find encouragement in that.

I love you all and I will check in again later and hopefully post some more pictures. We are going shopping at China Town tomorrow so that should be a good time.

Please pray that me and my stomach stop fighting and also that the Lord would continue to use this time to encourage me and fill me up!

It's true...pictures!!!

2008-07-09T04:45:00.000-07:00

Hey all. Sorry here are some pictures, as promised. It's only a few for now.

Today was a pretty good day, tiring but good. Me and Kirstin carried bricks (I mean that very literally) for like 2 and 1/2 hours. That was what we did to help the construction workers. They needed us to stack bricks so we did...I was sweating like crazy, felt amazingly dirty and gross, and was quite tired after. I mean that all in a very good way. I was glad that we got to do something to help out with the building and with things here.

Then we headed off to Sizzler for lunch with the farong ladies...that was a good time too and Kirstin actually got to eat something that she enjoyed so that was awesome.

Let's see, we also taught a class tonight. Actually Kirstin taught and I was her assistant. We taught a kids class and pretty much just hung out and played games with them for an hour and a half. We did some review, played poop deck, hangman, i spy, steal the bacon, and gave them sour patch kids (which they hated...Kirstin said it best, "They ate them and wouldn't share them, but they didn't like them.")

Now we are headed off to the hospital...no not for me...to get some food (pineapple and sticky rice YEAH!!!!) and then I don't know.

Enjoy the pictures and I'll post some more a little later.
Love you!

So here is the start of my exciting voyage for hidden treasure
(Sorry for the gnarly foot shot...)

Me and Kirstin...bargining or whatever.

Raining in Bangkok

Me, Kirstin, and Cindy on the boat taxi.
We all very nearly died when a "flood" of sewage water pounded us right in the face...
actually that's a lie...well not the sewage part...the flood.
It did get us all in the eye balls though.

I just love the way Thai looks...this is just plain old cement hanging out at the construction site.

It's ture...and official

2008-07-07T08:37:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody. So camp is officially canceled! :( It's kind of sad and kind of not at the same time. We needed 100 people to sign up and only 8 people actually signed up...I think that's a pretty good indicator that not be what the Lord has going on right now.

It's pretty sweet though because instead of doing camp stuff Kirstin and I get to help with construction!!! YES...manual labor...my favorite! Seriously though, I'm really excited about it. I think it's gonna be great fun to just work really hard all day...and it will be a great work out, which is always positive (I suppose).

The other positive thing is that because we already paid for the place and all that, Pastor Dton decided that it was time for the staff to get away for awhile. So the staff of GNSC is going on a bit of a retreat...to hang out and seek the Lord together in unity. I am just so excited. I can't wait for what the Lord is going to do through all of this.

So, here is kind of the plan for the next couple weeks of our trip.
Mornings...CONSTRUCTION!!!
Afternoons...Free English tutoring at the University
Evenings...Classes and whatnot
Retreat...17 to 19

I will be posting some pictures maybe tomorrow.

Ok, that's all for now. I love you all~

It's true...this is my first post!

2008-07-06T20:54:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am currently hanging out in the wonderful country of Thailand. I wrote one of my epic checking in emails and I got lots of responses telling me to start a blog. So here it is. The first post of who knows how many.

Let's see what's new? I have been sooooo unbelievably tired this time around. The jet lag is killing me. I wake up at 6 and am exhausted by like 730. I've been in bed by 9 every night since I got here, and I've been sleeping like a rock.

This will come as no surprise to those of you who know about my last few trips, but my stomach hates me! Yep, that's right, I said it. It hates me. For whatever reason, my stomach has decided that I am it's mortal enemy and it's trying to kill me I think. Lets just pray that we somehow make a peace between us and we can all just get a long at some point soon.

In other news...I have a map to a hidden treasure on both my feet in the form of bug bites. It's pretty much awesome. The map begins on the toes of my right foot. Continues to the back of my right ankle, works its way over to my left ankle...and then you hit the mother load. A bite that is bigger than any I have ever had on the left side of my left foot. And that's not to mention the heaps of bites I have on my legs. Yeah bugs...apparently they are a huge fan of mine.

Lastly...I have a bit of sad news (for me anyway). Apparently I don't know how to read Thai...what I thought was July 17th, I found out was actually August 17th. So, it looks like I will not be getting see The Dark Night in IMAX in Thailand. So that means, so of you will be needing to see it twice.

Well, that's all from me for now. I am going to go do some sight seeing I think and then help teach some classes a little later.

Love you all!