Thai Time...Camp Days

Ok, so I am way behind! Thanks for all the reminders...things have been crazy for the last few weeks! So let me just summarize camp up for you...

Camp was full of ups and downs for me. It was amazingly emotional, like way more than I thought. It's kind of funny because I have been semi-prepared for emotional milestones in this grieving process...but I didn't except or think that little Lake Mead would be one of those milestones. Well, it was. I missed my dad so much. More then I have in the last month or so.

We used to take family vacations to Lake Mead almost every year since I was little. I have soooo many memories, good and bad and everywhere in between. The weekend brought up a lot of hurt, and sadness for me, but through that the Lord proved Himself faithful once again. He provided compassion and kindness. Camp, for me, wasn't one of those "mountain top" spiritual experiences. I think it was just a time for the Lord to speak practical...this is what I want from you and for you into my life.

Thursday was a super rough day. I was really mad at God on Thursday. I was mad that my dad wasn't around for me to call and tell him how good the weather was or how perfect the lake was for wake boarding, simple things that I so desired at that moment. Thursday night brought a lot of tears and confession of anger. It always amazes me how patient God really is with me. That even in those moments of "I seriously don't like you right now" He is still reaches down and gives me a little "It's ok. I understand and I'm still here."

Friday morning, I went to go have my Thai Time with the Lord and He spoke something to me that at the point I was at, was so profound...Thankfulness. To constantly have a spirit of thankfulness, regardless of your circumstances. My situation and my feelings don't dictate how much I have to be thankful for. The fact of the matter is this...no matter how much God has taken away, He has given so much more. So, I spent the rest of the weekend trying to change my perspective on being thankful and the way that I thank the Lord. I don't want to just thank Him for all that He's done for me, I want to be thankful and be aware of all the He IS! He is so much more than I can understand and fathom. I want to always be pouring out thanks to Him for simply being who He is.

I had to put that into practice on Saturday when I took a bit of a spill on the lake. I was extremely irritated and mad at myself for getting hurt and having to sit all day...I tried to tell the people around me it wasn't a big deal, I was fine, whatever (that's my dad in me...stubborn beyond belief). Anyways, I spent that time just thinking and meditating on how even that circumstance, I still have so much right at my finger tips. After coming home, I went to the doctors and it turns out that turning that little spill, I fractured 2 ribs...

Anyways, that is just a little something that the enemy tried really hard to get me down with...God wasn't having it. God is bigger and better than anything I could ever imagine. He loves me more and cares for me more than anyone else ever could. I am amazingly thankful for everything that He is and for the place that He has brought me. Even through my circumstances of pain and grief God has used it to bring to a place of better understanding and really just more of who I feel like I'm really suppose to be. So Praise God for that.